Chapter 28: I Love My Baby But, I Miss My Dad

As some of you may know, I lost my dad to kidney cancer almost 5 years ago. It has been a traumatic and grief filled world for me for so many reasons. Simply put, he was my dad. He was the main man in my life for almost all of my life and really ruled at it. I miss him every single day. More recently, really since Sonny was born, I find myself missing him more and more. It’s unfortunate how such amazing times in ones life, like getting married or having a baby, can be colored with such darkness. Again, I hate to be a total downer, but this is the reality of so many of our lives. This doesn’t mean we love our husbands or our babies or even our whole lives any less, it’s just that it’s difficult to fully feel pure happiness at these momentous occasions. Sometimes I’m ridden with the simple thought of how much better life would be with my dad and that just makes me so sad. Once I  get to that dark place though, my mind has the ability to take a turn and see not only how lucky I am for what I have, but how lucky I was to have a parent that taught me how to be a good parent in return. In this Chapter of I Love My Baby, But I Miss My Dad, we cover missing my dad, honoring my dad and passing on the lessons he taught me so his legacy lives on and on and on. He deserves that. I’d love to know how any of you out there who have lost parents have taught your children about them and kept the spirit of them alive. Comment below. Love you all.

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  1. Hi Whitney,
    I lost my dad when my son was 6 months old (he’s almost 3 now). I know the feelings you are having, it is so hard to lose a parent but when you become a parent yourself it becomes that much harder. The missing never goes away. I remember someone told me shortly after he passed “Be lucky you had such an amazing dad that is worthy of missing, so many people don’t get that” and they were right, I found solace in the fact that my dad was an amazing father, husband and person. I tell my son about him all the time and he knows how amazing his Pop Pop was. I know Sonny will know all of the wonderful things about your dad as well.

  2. I lost both parents two weeks apart to the minute, and unfortunately almost a thousand miles apart. My Dad was native American. He really took the time to teach me that we’re stewards of the Earth to value her, care for her, and she’ll always give back. I’ve loved teaching my kids that.
    I just lost my husband and this is by far the hardest thing I have ever been through. We’ve been together for ever it feels and married for almost 18 years. He was 46 and I am truly thankful he didn’t suffer. It was an Aortic Dissection.
    I am so sorry for your loss and I am sure you know time doesn’t heal all wounds but it does take a little of the sting out.
    God bless you and your family too.

  3. I lost both my parents in 2014. My mom passed unexpectedly in September, 2014, and my Dad from Colon Cancer in December, 2014. Ironically, the day I was leaving for my mom’s service, I was signing paperwork to switch hospice providers for my Dad. My daughter was 2 1/2 at the time my mom passed, and my Dad passed 9 days before her 3rd birthday. It was really confusing for her, and for me. I didn’t quite know how to explain it, one day Grandpa was there, and then he wasn’t. She’s almost 6 now, and when she sees his picture, she remembers his face. I found out I was pregnant with my son in January , 2015. Not only was I pregnant, I was mourning the death of my parents in the same year. I don’t know how I did it, I was on autopilot.

    Losing a parent, someone you’ve loved your entire life, since day 1, is the hardest, and most tragic thing I’ve ever experienced. I show my kids their pictures, and I share happy stories. Once my daughter saw me sad looking at pictures, she didn’t want to see them anymore. I started sharing things with her that they loved, and reminded her how much they loved her, and she came back around. My son (now 2), is still a little too young to understand, but I’ll do the same things with him.

    Never stop sharing stories. Videos are wonderful, because we can share their voice with them, their laugh, their smile.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Dad’s are something special. It’s incredible how it can feel like forever since they died, and also feel like time hasn’t passed at all.

    Thank you for sharing.

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