Chapter 22: I Love My Baby But, There’s More You Should Know About Breastfeeding

Hey Guys,
As some of you may know, breastfeeding hasn’t been the journey I thought it would be. When I posted my last video, y’all were so amazing- sending similar stories of validation and so much support. I was so naive and thought I was so much more alone in my situation. I was obviously wrong.

And while I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone, it is so comforting to know I’m NOT alone and that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. The overall message was “FED IS BEST,” which I wholeheartedly believe. However, I still haven’t come to terms with the whole breast milk vs. formula war in my head and my heart. It’s so insane how you can get such amazing advice about stopping breastfeeding and believe it all to be true, but still be ridden with guilt. In this Chapter of I Love My Baby But, I dig in to where I’m at with breastfeeding. It’s still a struggle, but at least I’m not alone. I love you guys.

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  1. Hello Whitney, I have seen your previous YouTube clips and I can relate so much! I gave birth june 3thrd to a daughter and since birth I had the same bacteria.. My daughter couldn’t latch, it hurts sooooo bad and I’ve cried every time I breastfeeded, at some point I bought nipple sheets and I still use them. They work.. The hassle you described is real, I felt like I could never leave or do something by myself. After about 8 weeks I switched one breastfeeding with one formula and this gave my nipples like a 5 or 6 hour break and I could do what I want in that period. Go shopping, or to the beautyshop, whatever.. My daughter didn’t even noticed, she drank the whole bottle and loved it! I wanted to say that I now what you’re going through and it’s hard, respect for you for sharing en pulling through! You are great and not selfish or anything, you are just a human and a mom.

  2. Whitney!!

    I am truly thankful for you and all the videos that you have posted since your son Sonny was born and even before! I am also a new mother, my son Dustin was born July 2/2017 and I will tell you it was not easy… I struggled with fertility for 8 years ( I am 32) my husband and I got pregnant right before we were about to stop trying and it was truly a miracle.. I was in labour for 36hrs and ended up pushing for 8 hrs and then had to have an emergency c-section due to the fact I couldn’t push anymore and my epidural failed.. My son was born a healthy 9lbs..
    I was under the impression that breastfeeding was going to be hard but I would be able to do it because I had the boobs LOL.. Boy was I wrong!!! I got home after being in the hospital 5 days and during the time in the hospital all I did was breastfeed and pump with the help of the nurses and my husband.. It was not at all easy when I got home, I was exhausted and didn’t want anything to do with pumping or breastfeeding because it hurt so much but I knew I had to do it, in my heart it didn’t feel right to put him on formula.. I continued to pump for another 3 weeks and feed him with a bottle not even trying the boob because he would fuss and wouldn’t latch and I was frustrated to the point I didn’t want to try anymore.. One night while pumping I started to get the chills uncontrollably and was weak and couldn’t stand up, turns out I had mastitis in my left breast and it was a bad case.. I went to the ER were they kept me and gave me a prescription when I left for 7 days.. I got home and decided that’s it I am DONE, I wasn’t going to live my life attached to a pump and hating it so much it was not allowing me to be a GREAT MOM..
    I just watched you video about there is more to breastfeeding and feel like we are totally going through the same thing but in our own way.. I felt like you did, that i was a failure if I didn’t keep going and I would be selfish if I stopped just because I couldn’t handle it anymore.. Believe me I thought about this all to, and with many nights and days crying I finally sat one morning with my baby boy in my arms and thought I am doing this for you!! I want to be the best mom I can be and if you see I am upset and get any sort of vibe of my stress or discomfort you are not getting the best mommy you deserve.. After that moment I stopped and can tell you that life is so much better, he is one very happy baby and knowing that i did what i did for him makes it that much more special..
    Don’t ever forget that you are the MOM and you have to do what is best for YOU and BABY!! If that means you have to be selfish then do it because in the end if you are miserable or stressed out your baby knows it and makes it much harder for both of you.. I know you have been getting a lot of feed back and advice but I really wanted to share this with you as I have been on this journey with you since day one since our babies are close in age..
    I wish you nothing but the best of luck and remember to enjoy every minute and do what is best for YOU and your family not what everyone else thinks…

    p.s I had little to no pain when I stopped, it took a total of 3 days to stop leaking and about a week and a bit to go back to normal.. Just keep them warm and slowly cut back on pumping…

    Thanks so much again for the videos
    Amy V…

  3. Oh my – I feel you… i’m in the same situation with my 17week old daughter…
    nowadays there’s a huge pressure on mums breastfeeding as long as possible.. even when i talk to my “not-mum-girlfriends” they kind of give me a hard time about my thought of quitting breastfeeding or even for adding formula to our daily breastfeeding-routine!
    In theast years everinything started to get pretty intense with all the topics about nutrition – when you’re not having every dish like gluten-free, lactose-free,… blablabla, you’re treated like you are not as thoughtful about your own health, compared to all the others. And when you don’t provide your baby with breastmilk for at least x months, society is even “meaner”.
    I’m giving myself a really hard time right now, because of thinking about quitting.
    I was breastfeeding my daughter and gave her a pumped bottle in the evening, so she would sleep lmore hours through.. Several weeks ago my “milk production” started to decrease (i wasn’t able to pump a whole bottle in the mornings anymore) and as soon as i told my friends, i was told to do this and that, take globuli, drink tea, pump and breastfeed every hour,… – thats when the stress really started!! And nothing really helped… I felt terrible, not providing my daughter enough food… and if that is not enough, she aaaaalways had belly ache after i ate or drank something “wrong”. And i’m not speaking about cale, broccoli or some bloating stuff… so i had to deal with not giving her enough food AND giving her stomach ache!! I felt bad all the time… then i met a new-mom friend who told me, she’s giving her friend a formula bottle every evening and breastfeeding him during the day – that evening i started doing the same… it immediately took a lot of pressure from me. Now i’m thinking about quitting for real but i am still struggeling, because i feel like a bad mom…
    Beeing a new-mom is already kind of a really “lonely” time – all the pumping is not helping, because you are tied to your home even more… all the stress i had, because of my “pumping-game”… – like not leaving the house with my little one, before having pumped at least 150cl… ooooh…
    I’m still struggeling with thinking about stopping breastfeeding for good… i’m “releaved”, hearing about other moms having the same problems – and i am not the only one…
    however – i hope, both of us, and all the other struggeling new-moms, find the right solution for us/them! Without beeing given a hard time <3

  4. Love how real and raw you are! I have never commented to any blogs, but really wanted to give some encouragement words. I have a13 month old boy and the first 3-4 months were really hard, so I can relate. I have breastfed exclusively and did not pump ( I actually could not pump, the milk would not run! Probably a psychological thing). I think it helped me to nurse him so long as I still do. If I had to deal with bottles, pumping and cleanup, I would have given up for sure! As you said, it is like being hooked to the wall at all times. Breastfeeding gives you flexibility and you do not feel like a prisoner. Try breastfeeding more if you can. The first two- three weeks were horrible for me as well- painful, bleeding nipples, but it went away after some time.

    Do what’s best for you, but I do get how pumping and bottles can make the life so much more difficult.

    I have shed some tears in the beginning and have questioned myself if I am doing a good job. It was not worth it to waste my energy! Now I Iook at the girls with newborn babies and I already have nostalgia…Time does go by quickly!

    All the best!!!

  5. Oh my goodness.. so glad I’m not alone.. this is the same journey Iv been on and it’s so emotional. I always felt like no one understood or they thought I was just being extra emotional but the breastfeeding journey is so hard and I’m so glad you made this video because the struggle is real and it feels so good to know I’m not feeling these feelings alone. Thank you!

  6. whitney!!! join Exclusively Pumping Mama’s on Facebook : you are NOT alone, everyone feels this way starting out. I am at month 5 1/2 of pumping and down to 3 pumps a day.

    what’s saved me? Pumping pals, a madela symphony rental, body armor/coconut water, sunflower lecithin, letting go of my social life for a few months (its not terrible) and just relaxing.

    You got this mama!

  7. Wow..just looking at how long my post was. Sheesh! Sorry about that! I apologize for any/all typos too…I totally should be sleeping right now. Whoops ????.

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