As some of you may know, I lost my dad to kidney cancer almost 5 years ago. It has been a traumatic and grief filled world for me for so many reasons. Simply put, he was my dad. He was the main man in my life for almost all of my life and really ruled at it. I miss him every single day. More recently, really since Sonny was born, I find myself missing him more and more. It’s unfortunate how such amazing times in ones life, like getting married or having a baby, can be colored with such darkness.
I feel a little superficial for caring about the fact that my body was going to change so tremendously from pregnancy and birth. When I first found out I was pregnant, I immediately panicked about not being in control of my body and it got increasingly harder to feel good in my own skin. I constantly had to remind myself that my body was creating something so wonderful, so beyond my comprehension or sensibility.
All you moms out there have been there…You’re driving on the freeway with your brand new baby in the back and all of a sudden they’re hysterical. You don’t know what to do, you can’t pull over, you think they’re choking, you’re freaking out! Well, hopefully you’ve all been there, cause that was me a couple weeks ago and it scarred me and I need some help!
I’m not obsessed with breastfeeding. There. I said it. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that my baby is getting all the amazing nutrients from my milk and that I am literally giving him life, but it has been quite the challenge. A challenge I didn’t feel prepared for at all. In this Chapter of I Love My Baby But… I discuss my trying journey through breastfeeding.